


Cause The Hardest Part Of This Is Leaving You

by luciferslittlehellhound



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Angst, Cancer, Character Death, Illness, M/M, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-14
Updated: 2014-01-14
Packaged: 2018-01-08 18:14:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1135859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luciferslittlehellhound/pseuds/luciferslittlehellhound
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'll protect you from the monsters." He whispered.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cause The Hardest Part Of This Is Leaving You

**Author's Note:**

> I am very truly sorry. Really I am. Just wrote it when I was thinking a little. Hate me if you must.

"Cancer?" Dean asked.  
"Cancer." Cas replied.   
"Cancer." Dean muttered, before falling to his knees into a heap at Cas' feet. 

\--------

"No leave it on Criminal Minds!"  
"That mindless shit Cas? I'm bored to death here!"  
The pair glanced at each other before bursting into fits of giggles.  
"Okay fine we'll leave it on but I get to pick when it's finished." Dean grinned as he threw the remote back onto Cas' bed.  
"Knock knock." Came a voice from the door.  
"Who's there?" Cas joked.  
"Just me," Nurse Masters poked her head in. "Just come to check on your drip and have a quick catch up."  
She smiled fondly at the boys as she moved towards Cas' IV.   
"Any nausea today Cas?" The nurse asked as she fiddled with Cas' IV.   
"Not so much." He replied.  
Nurse Masters raised her eyebrow, "Maybe I should raise your dosage then?" She winked at Dean as Cas rolled his eyes.  
"Okay fine," He huffed, "Maybe a little bit of nausea."  
"Ah that's my boy!" The nurse playfully punched Cas' arm before making her way towards the door. "Call me if you need me!" She shouted as she left.  
"I like her." Cas muttered thoughtfully.  
"I like her too, Cas." Dean smiled, as he reached across the bed and squeezed his hand.

\--------

Dean woke to the sound of retching and a cold empty space next to him.   
"Cas?" He rubbed his hands across his face as he glanced at the clock. 3.27 am.  
"I'm fine Dean, go back to bed." Cas' voice rasped from the bathroom.  
Dean slowly pushed the door open, to find Cas hunched over the toilet bowl, pale and shivering; and when had he got so thin? Dean sighed quietly before sinking to his knees next to Cas, gently rubbing between his shoulder blades as he retched once more. Cas slumped against him, exhausted.   
"Come on, lets get you back to bed." Dean whispered quietly, before sliding his arms beneath Cas' knees and carrying him with ease bridal style back to bed. Cas whimpered quietly, and Dean hushed him with words of comfort before sliding him into the bed, and crawling in next to him, one arm protectively wrapped around Cas' waist.  
"I'll protect you from the monsters." He whispered.

\--------

Cas walked slowly into the kitchen, eyes filled with tears.  
"Hey, Cas, come and check this out." Dean started, before looking up, freezing, and immediately rushing to Cas' side.   
"What's the matter baby?" He whispered, wrapping his arms around Cas' shoulders as he sniffled. Cas held out his hands as an explanation. A small clump of soft hair lay settled in his palm. Dean squeezed him tighter as the tears started to fall.   
"Hey, hey, shhh shhh it's okay." Dean soothed, "It's okay baby, I've got you, we're gonna be okay." Cas let the hair fall from his hands and float to the floor, dragging his palms across his wet eyes.   
"It seems so silly," Cas said quietly. "It's just hair." He started laughing, shoulders shaking up and down, but it wasn't long before the laughs turned into sobs. Dean steered him slowly towards the sofa before sitting Cas down. Dean held his face in his hands and kissed away the tears.   
"Wait right here." He kissed the top of Cas' nose, and motioned for him to stay where he was. Dean ran off towards the bedroom as Cas wiped his face once more, gently putting his hand in his hair, feeling it between his fingers. Dean ran heavily down the stairs, something clutched tight in his hand.  
"I always liked it because it reminded me of your eyes." Dean said, cheeks burning red. "Now you can have it."   
Into Cas' hands he placed a wooly hat with a bobble on the top, the exact same midnight blue colour as Cas' eyes. Cas smiled at the hat in his hands before slowly putting it onto his head.   
"I love it, Dean." He smiled.  
"And I love you." Dean said, wrapping his arms around him, knocking him onto his back. They lay there, breathing into each other, noses touching, before Cas pressed a tiny kiss onto Dean's mouth.  
"And I love you more than stars." He whispered into Dean's ear. Dean burst into laughter, his grin reaching his ears.  
"You're mad Cas." He laughed. "You're my mad Cas."

\--------

Dean walked calmly along the grassy path, breathing the fresh air as he walked between the summer flowers. He stopped at some bluebells, picking them gently before arranging them in his hand, thinking about how much Cas would love them. The sky was so blue, and the breeze was so calm, even though it was hot he was never too hot, and the breeze was never too cold. Dean quietly hummed to himself, switching between Hey Jude and the chorus of She Will Be Loved. He thought about when him and Cas danced to both songs at Sammy's wedding. He thought about how ridiculous Cas looked in that stupid bobble hat next to all the smartly dressed guests. He thought about how he danced until he was so tired Dean had to carry him back to bed. He thought of how he whispered things into Cas' ear as they slow danced together, smiles brighter than the sun.  
He came to a stop, looked around before sitting down. He placed the flowers down in next of him, smiled over at the man he loved.  
"Hey Cas," he smiled, feeling the sun on his face as he lay back on the grass. "Did I ever tell you how much I love you?"  
He lay in the silence, the rhetorical question hanging in the air.   
"I love you more than anything." He whispered, placing his hand flat against the cold slab of rock, tracing over the letters engraved onto it. The familiar engraving he had memorised from the many similar visits. A tear slid sideways down his face, gravity pulling it down as Dean lay on his back, palm resting on the gravestone.  
"I love you more than stars".


End file.
